Haters; we’ve all had them. Those people you have done nothing to but seem to hate you for no reason at all. They can be SO frustrating to try to figure out, exhausting to deal with, and can even drive you to the point where you feel like there’s something wrong with YOU, especially if it’s someone you admire.
Whether you’re dealing with a hater from school, a work environment, or even suspect a friend to be one, I’ve put together a post from my experiences that tells you a. how to identify a hater, and b. how to deal with one:
1. How to identify a hater
They have no reason to dislike you
This is a dead giveaway and I don’t think they even realize it. A hater will have no real explanation as to why they dislike you, just a generic “I just don’t” or some excuse that probably doesn’t make any sense. No matter how nice you are or how much you try to get on their good side, nothing will suffice. Sometimes, they don’t even understand themselves why they hate you so much.
They’re always trying to bring you down
They’ll give backhanded compliments, make your accomplishments seem like “not a big deal,” make fun of you in front of people, and/or try to “outshine” you at work. This is their way of making you smaller so that they can feel better about themselves.
They try to be like you in subtle ways
Yes that’s right, they’ll bite your style, copy how you dress/act, maybe even take your suggestions, all while at the same time not giving credit and/or talking down on you.
B. How to deal with a hater
Understand it’s not personal
People will hate on YOU because of what they are lacking in THEMSELVES; it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. Don’t waste your time trying to figure them out, sometimes they don’t even know themselves why they hate you so much.
Turn the other cheek
Yes that’s right, don’t give in to their negativity! It will literally drain you. Decide for yourself to protect your peace and walk away, and don’t give them the reaction they’re looking for.
Keep doing you
Nothing upsets a hater more than when you go on about your business and keep doing you! Going hand in hand with my previous point, don’t let them affect how you live your life! Just keep being the amazing person you are. If you have haters, it means you’re doing something right, so take it as a compliment!
Pray for them
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: hurt people hurt people, and as a christian, I strongly believe in walking in love. But this is not a principle I believe should be applied because your religious, but a life principle in general. Whatever is making someone a hateful person typically stems from something much deeper. I know sometimes it can be really hard to think of it this way (trust me, I understand), but it never hurts to be the bigger person and pray for them and THEIR peace (or whatever you may do if you are not Christian or religious).
To close, I want to tell a side story about something that puts this into perspective for me:
When I was in the 3rd grade, there was this girl named Emery who I thought was SO pretty, but she was so mean to me and I couldn’t understand why. When I told my mom about it, she would say, “She’s just upset because you’re prettier than her,” and I thought, there’s NO way, she has everything. Well, one day while she was making fun of me, I got so frustrated with her that I yelled “You’re just mad because I’m prettier than you!” and she immediately fell silent. If I remember correctly, she never bothered me again.
So I know you’re probably thinking, what does this have to do with anything Sabria, that was third grade, you’re an adult now, get over it.
Well, I believe human nature’s rawest form is shown through children, and from this I learned that it doesn’t matter who someone is, how pretty they are, the things that they have– and I don’t know how many times I’ve underestimated people for these exact reasons — your haters can come from anywhere, because pain and insecurity can be present in anyone.
With that being said, come at your haters with a little more compassion, but at the same time screw them. Rise above it and keep being you.